I love my in laws - really, I do but they drive me insane with their elderly-ness. last time I posted about them I got 'wrong' for being unkind and disrespectful. To set the record straight - they give as good as they get, and they are able to laugh at themselves - trust me.
So, now that's out the way, I would like to share an episode of the new sitcom. 'Dinner at the Owl'.
Scene 1 - the family are seated around a table, Grandma, Grandad, Mum, Dad, son1 and son2. They are reading through the menu.
Dad - what are you having Grandad?.
Grandad - Oh I don't know, are there any specials?
Dad - yes they are on the blackboard on the wall, where they usually are
Grandad - REALLY??? since when?
Dad - Since the first time we came here.
Grandad - Well I never noticed them before
Dad - Yes you have, you had the steamed mussels from there last time
Grandad - REALLY? ( gets up and walks over to the blackboard)
Grandma - Where's HE going?
Dad - To see what specials there are
Grandma - Where?
Dad - On the blackboard on the wall
Grandma - When did they start doing that?
Dad (sigh) - They've always had them there.
Grandma - REALLY?
Grandad - Grandma have you seen the specials?
Grandma - No, what specials?
Grandad - On the blackboard on the wall.
Grandma - REALLY?
Grandad - Come on dear I'll take you over to have a look
Dad - rolling eyes at mum, how many times have we had this conversation now?
Mum - Since the first time we came.
Grandad - I'm going to have the Garlic Prawns and Steak - what about you Grandma?
Grandma - What?
Grandad - What are you going to have to eat?
Grandma - What is there?
Grandad - well there are the specials on the board
Grandma - What board?
Mum & Dad & kids - THE BLACKBOARD ON THE WALL OVER THERE!
Scene 2.
Still sitting around the table 10 minutes later.
Mum - so what is everyone having, I'll write it down (gets notebook out)
Dad - prawns and steak for me
Mum - what about you grandma?
Grandma - Yes dear?
Mum - What would you like to eat?
Grandma - Oh, I think I'm having chicken.
Grandad - CHICKEN? but you usually like the duck.
Grandma - Oh well I'll have duck then
Dad - Grandma you have what you like.
Grandma - I'll have chicken then
Grandad - with roast potatoes, you prefer roasts don't you?
Mum - they don't do roast potatoes, we asked last time.
Grandad - well they might if you ask them.
Mum - If they don't have roasts do you want chips or mash Grandma?
Grandma - Yes dear?
Grandad - You want chips don't you?
Grandma - I thought I was having roasts with my duck?
Dad - You're having chicken
Grandma - Oh chicken then and roasts
Grandad - or chips?
Grandma - with what?
Mum - Arrgghhhhhhh!
Scene 3
Still around the table
Grandma having been to the ladies returns saying - There's a specials board over there!
Grandad - REALLY?
and a prize for the rest of that scene!
So that is the first stage of our meal out. It is entertaining and even the regular serving staff have a laugh with us too. They bring Mum back when she wanders off after going to the ladies, and bring dad an extra spoon even when he assures us many times he doesn't want dessert.
Each time (and we have been to the same place numerous times lately) we have the 'specials board' gag, and the 'what are you having?' one - which repeats itself when the main courses are brought to the table and confusion reigns while MIL/FILwork out what they actually ordered rather than what they thought they'd ordered. (Hence the notebook!)
Dessert is of a similar vein, although the main topic is Lemon Posset which FIL thinks is delicious and tries to coax MIL into having one so he can share it with her. MIL prefers sticky toffee pudding and wants to eat it all herself so this often ends up in a childish spat between them and FIL deciding that he 'won't have anything then'.
Other topics stretch to "Jordan how tall are you now?", "Gail, where do you get your hair done like that?" and "Julian what size feet do you have now?" over and over followed by Mum smiling and saying "I've asked you that a hundred times before haven't I?"
My head is usually spinning by the time we finish but I do enjoy their company. It's sad that they are getting this way but at least they are still able to go out and enjoy themselves. My mind boggles at the thought of them ordering a meal when out on their own - I can only imagine the confusion.
It’s all trash
8 hours ago
Posts
9 comments:
That is hilarious! You are so very tolerant. It would drive me bananas.
They sound a lovely couple. It is sad when the memory goes, in fact getting old can be the 'pits'. I see so many old people who are in pain. Some remain cheerful and optimistic, and for others it just gets a bit much. I guess a little bit of memory loss is the least of worries.
Do I write my own stuff ????
Who says I don't ?
Don't believe a word that Willy Shakespeare says. Some people don't believe he wrote his own stuff anyhow.
The in laws
It's not wrong to carp at your in laws
It's a fact, Gail, that most of us do
Each age thinks the previous one barmy
So what do your kids think of you ?
In music, in food and in clothing
You're long past the time that is " now"
Just ask number one son if you're past it
And he'll gladly tell you " And how."
But love will still keep you together
Though fashions may drive you apart
He may find you a sorrowful eyesore
But you'll still have a place in his heart.
So here's to the jolly old in laws
Befuddled, forgetful and quaint
It's a pity their brain cells are maxed out
But a blessing their credit cards ain't.
was all this to make fun of me???
Ok I'm impressed with that poem, what sweet inlaws you have! This was a hilarious read!
I know it can be trying, but so glad you are making the effort, for your kids sake especially, because youve got to teach them how to treat you when your time comes!
Mrinz/Raxx - thank you and like i said, they still have a sense of humour. However I feel my two will just have me locked away to save embarrassment!
annymoose - you are wonderful, stay around a while - your comments are better than my posts!
putz - of course it was!
OMG, this was hysterically funny, although sad at the same time if their minds really are going that badly. But oh my, you did make me giggle!
Justine :o )
That's hilarious. I'd totally watch that show.
I'm so sorry but I am absolutely laughing my ass off. Forgive me.
Jason - maybe I should write something?
deb - oh feel free, hope your ass isn't really falling off - could be messy!
Post a Comment