Men and Bra's

Last night I decided to have a lonesome shopping trip to the nearest Marks & Spencer Store to buy some new bra's for the trip. I'm not one of these racey lacey push up under your chin types, I'm more a comfy let 'm dangle person. Not that they are resting on my waistline (yet) but you know what I mean girls. However, a couple of weeks ago I did buy a new bra that was a little on the racey (but not lacey, lace irritates my skin) and did shove 'em north a little more than normal. Hubby said they looked 'pert' - AND it was comfortable. You men have no idea how uncomfortable an ill fitting bra can be.

My mission was to try and get another two in the same style. Not difficult? Nope I thought it would be a ten minute job.

I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that blind old men make bra's. Whoever makes them has absolutely no idea about where breasts are supposed to be or their shape. I tried on one that had to be a replica of the one Madonna wore on stage a few years back. Another had them so close together I could have suffocated myself If I'd looked down, and one, well goodness knows what it wa strying to do, but I'd certainly have had stange stares walking down the street.

And then there is the sizing. I wear a size 6 or maybe 6.5 shoes, I wear a 14 or maybe 16 clothes. Bra's I can be anything between a 34 D to a 36F. On top of which there are so many styles around. Balcony - teetering over the edge, Plunge - way too dangerous for me, Uplifts - chin ticklers etc etc. I always head for the ones in boxes - they are the 'safe' boring ones that you know will be more comfortable, although less attractive. I mean who the hell wants to see me in my underwear.

Marks and Spencers is known for it's bra fitting service, but the bra fitter was busy serving a woman who was wanting a 40 EE something, so I decided to go it alone, presuming her need for a well fitting bra was greater than mine. I went in with no less than 12 bras in various styles and sizes. I had to have neutral colours so they didn't flash dayglo UV in the lighting at Disney, which narrowed my choice a little.

There is something a little uncomfortable about trying on bra's. Standing half naked isn't natural. I suppose better the top half than bottom half but either way, one thinks of what to do when the fire alarm goes off (because you know it will be while you are in that state). Anyway, I'm trying on each one, struggling with straps, and putting on my top over the ones that fit to see if its a 'good look'. Eventually I narrowed it down to just two. One exactly the same style and colour of the one I bought a couple of weeks ago - although for some reason it needed to be a cup size larger, even though I was wearing the original one that day and didn't look like I had 4 baps!

It's a minefield for us ladies. So you see, not content with chaining us to monthly madness, childbirth, housework and plucking stray whiskers from our chins, men have us demented when buying lingerie to keep our shapely forms in an orderly fashion.

What do they get? Daily shaving!