Yesterday I was singing praises for my eldest son. Today I would happily wave him off to the Foreign Leigion. Why do we have children? I have asked myself this question many times. Do the good points outweigh the bad? Not in this house at the moment!Alexander needed to go and get some football boots etc for his training on Monday night. We arranged to go out around lunchtime to do this at a local discount outlet. Normally Jordan doesn't want to go so we assumed this would be the case today too. Oh no, he wanted to come with us.
We suspected some game plan in action and halfway there he admitted he was hoping to get a new mp3 player seeing as I washed his phone and he 'couldn't find' (read - had sold) his old one. He told us he had some money saved and another £40 on his Game loyalty card that he was selling to us. When it was pointed out to him that we had no use for a loyalty card like that he turned into Mr Stroppy. The reason he had this card was because he had decided to trade in some of his old games so he could get a new one when it came out except when it did he decided he didn't want it.
The morning began with bright sunshine, we even discussed having a barbeque. As the day wore on it turned into something very ardous - as did our relationship with Jordan.
When he realised he wasn't going to get a new mp3 player he decided he wasn't going to co-operate in any shape or form and stormed off out of the sports shop, refusing to come back when asked. We let him go to cool off. He couldn't go anywhere other than around the outlets.
We couldn't find anything in Alexander's size so decided to go and look in another retail park. I set off to find Jordan, he ignored me. I followed him for a couple of minutes until I was told to " go and have a wee somewhere else" putting it nicely!
I was stunned! He has never said anything like that to either of us before, but realising he was just feeling 'clever' and on top of which I would probably have been arrested for assault had I done what I really wanted to do to him, I told him I needed him to come back to the car, as we were going somewhere else. (Through clenched teeth).
I could see by the look on one guys face that he was thinking "If that was my son, he'd have been dragged back to the car". But you can't do that these days. No wonder youngsters think they rule the world.
He didn't come back, but stormed off in the opposite direction. I went back to find the others who had gone back to the car. Mick then went off to try and coax him back - and once again got a mouthful. Short of abducting him (not easy with a 15 year old) we couldn't do anything only hang around until he got fed up.
Finally I managed to get him back to the car after watching him play a whole game of pool with himself in the bowling alley. By which time steam was coming out of both parents ears as we were furious,but knew to keep quiet or the whole situation would blow again.
We went straight home, Jordan went upstairs and hasn't spoken to any of us since. I went out to get my hair cut and treat myself to a cappuccino with apple and cinnamon muffin and finally relaxed a bit.
So what to do? I know what I want to do, but it won't help resolve the situation. Had I spoken to my parents as he did to me I wouldn't be able to leave the house until the bruising wore off - but you know, I would have known I deserved it! We will punish him, he needs money for his skiing trip to France next year and it has to paid by the end of term. He loves his X-Box360, but the lead is very easily be removed and confiscated. He will need lifts to his friends houses and extra money for a burger with his friends after school. Guess what???
He will learn that no matter how big he thinks he is, he will never be bigger than his parents.
So far we have been lucky, he hasn't been anything other than a tiresome teenager. Today was a step up to the next level. He is challenging our authority and speaking to us in an unnacceptable manner. Obviously hormones on the march, next it will be girlfriends and personal hygiene - maybe even washing properly???
So please share your words of wisdom with me, and remind me that he is just a normal teenager and not devil-spawn.
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13 comments:
yep, i am convinced that you write a blog just like thisismylife....maybe it is the teenagers in your homes, i haven't had teenagers in my home for 35 years
Hmm two thoughts spring to mind.
Someone once said that teenage years are like the two year old phase where the child is not a baby anymore but not quite a preschooler either and have trouble coping with strong emotions. A teenager is not quite a child but not an adult either hence the conflict. One minute really adult behaviour and the next a tantrum.
Having said that I have no ideas much of how to cope - in spite of having had four teenagers!I did used to try and not get into a win/lose situation so neither of us lost face - I became master at the art of hedging.
Second thought - sometimes though you do have to stick to your guns and just dodge the flak! They have to learn how to occasionally be told NO. Life is kind of like that.
I am probably not much help!! Good luck.
I've no experience here, but it would make sense to make his life particularly unpleasant for a while.
Also I might have been tempted to give him a fiver and tell him to make his own way back from the retail outlet, but of course that depends on how far it is away and public transport.
Good luck.
I'm in the process of developing a drug that keeps my kids at the age of five for the next thirty years.
putz - thanks, is that a compliment? it must be as she gets more hits than me!
Mrinz - maybe today after having time to think about it he will apologise, not holding my breath though as at the moment nothing is ever his fault.
Dan - It did cross my mind but we were in a difficult place for transport, although he could have walked back in about 5 hours! Good luck with the drugs!!
I'll swap you Eilidh for Jordan and we'll see if it's easier for either of us. I'm really struggling with this parenting lark.
Get ready you're in for a bumpy ride. Set limits. If he won't leave, you go and let him walk home. They only do that once or twice. It's like they go back to toddlerhood and you and spouse need to set some ironclad rules with conquences. Scream at me and call me bitch and I own your cell phone. Lie and I find out no computer today. Sneak in a girl while we're eating dnner~go into said room insist they come out and say this is not allowable behavior. I have many blogs abougs aboout terrible teen boys........
Gail - you have my sympathy, but have a look at this on YouTube it will make you cry (with laughter).
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gKaUL2mtAqA
If the link doesnt work look up "teenage song" its a funny Aussie outback song about a typical teenager!!!
Jackie
Thanks Lou but better the devil you know and all that!!
Crazed Mom - He has had his x box confiscated and has been told if this behaviour happens again his Tv and PC will be going the same way. He doesn't seem to feel it is his fault at all, it's ours for being hypocrits because we just get things when we want them but he's not allowed to(??!!??)
Sounds like a normal teenager to me.
The nice thing about these days is you can take away cell phones, video games, and the computer.
Back in my day it was only the TV.
I thought I had the only demon spawn on Earth! I had 2 of 3 that made me realize I should be able to beat my children black and blue without fear of jail time!!! Wait til he is driving and wants gas money, he will still smart off, but will expect cash!
Personally I would have just pissed off as he suggested and left him to find his own way home. - sample conversation - piss off - ok then, - turn round and go back to car and drive off. There is no excuse for rudery.
Oy! I'm off to read the follow-up!
Words of wisdom? HA! At his age I would have left his ass at the store and let him find his own way home. He obviously had some money with him so he could get a taxi. That would have shown him!!!!!!!!!
No way would I have sat around, watching him play pool, getting his way the whole time. I would have pulled him out there by his ear... this being if I didn't just leave him there, which I probably would have!
Justine :o )
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